For several dozen nanoseconds immediately prior to the spontaneous creation of the Hermaphrocell, or Cell of Origin, as it was later referred to in the massive and permanent stone pages of the Living Record, the planet's molten and disfigured outer skin quickly dropped in temperature several thousand degrees, and for a moment the faint, delicate crackling of billions of obsidian cells contracting and expanding could be heard. No more than one hundred femtoseconds later, a tidal wave of compressed hydrogen and oxygen graciously filled the gaping wounds left by the multitudes of meteorites that had assaulted the symmetry of the once pristine planet and within moments, great river systems thrived, despite the total absence of even the most primitive of life forms. When, in the eternity that followed this momentous deluge, the Original Cell did finally appear, the pre-arranged conditions for its successful evolution could not have been more ideal, and it was treated most favorably by the peristaltic ocean that recognized this primordial brain as the biological trust fund for all of creation. As the final heartbeat of this unique organism calmly sounded, it was divided into nine identical cells, which were connected within a skein of nervous tissue, and the expired protoplasm was sloughed away. Conjoined in this manner, the colony departed its cellular nursery and pulsated towards a destination within the peristaltic ocean where it split up into nine identical streams of interpretation. The process by which the network separated into individual cells created a powerful electrical disturbance in the atmosphere, and ominous methane storms manifested for a short time after this division. The violent cleavage now nearing its completion, nine newly-formed brain cells parted company for the time being, dimly cognizant that the odyssey each would undertake would be shared and fully appreciated by all others within the now defunct colony. For this reason, we will follow only one of these cells on its moist, electrolytic journey through the various stages of its morphological and sensory evolution.

Out of the darkness different forms began to emerge; some were long, thin, sluggish and made up of what appeared to be many smaller sections, while others were armored, tri-lobed, and fast-moving, using their complex compound eyes and tiny feelers to navigate and find sources of nutrition. Amidst the gently flowing seaweeds, there were also organisms that inhabited conical and spherical shells comprised of a hard, iridescent material; some remained nearly motionless for long periods while others darted to and fro with great speed. On the rocky, silt-covered bottom, small, multi-limbed beings with protective cases and large, sharp claws moved slowly past, their elongated, flexible eyestalks scanning the scene above them in brief, rapid movements.

The forms dissolved, evaporated; in their place only the darkness and low-pitched rumbling from an earlier time remained constant. Out of the tenebrous depths a much larger specter loomed; it was massive, pale, and appeared to be disfigured, uncomfortable. It was composed of four overly expressive and hairless faces, only one of which could be glimpsed at a time, that rotated slowly on an unseen axis. The first of the faces was distorted by the ravages of a long period of time spent underwater, as the vast wrinkled and algae-covered portions strongly attested to.

Leaving its initially lachrymal domain and taking its miniscule host with it, the quadratic face leapt upon solid ground and continued to display itself, piecemeal. The second face bore the signs of having been buried for many months, as it was scratched and bruised in places, with small, filthy puncture holes where the worms and maggots had exited covering much of its grimy countenance. Next appeared a face more grisly than the two previous, barely recognizable as it was due to the intense and unremitting heat of a conflagration upon its surface; in some places, the skin was black, brittle, and soon to peel off in long, slimy strips while elsewhere it was white and glassy, no doubt from the draining and boiling off of capillaries. The final face, despite one's expectations, was much kinder of visage, being the victim of the continual erosion of the sands of time, which over the years had marred the once smooth face with innumerable tiny craters and pock marks. The air, winds, and gases of this realm had indeed wreaked havoc, but the form and radial symmetry were not altogether lost.

The sudden departure of the quadraface brought to bear many new impressions; the sky became black, and blinding lights appeared in detailed geometric patterns that colorfully festooned the ebon dome above, leaving behind finely etched, luminous afterimages in colors complementary to that of the original before the eye of the beholder. This continued for several moments, with little if any overlap of cause and effect, and with form constants such as honeycombs, cobwebs, tunnels and cones, and spirals being the four predominant categories of patterns glimpsed. A lengthy and exhaustive display of olfaction followed, during which odors were passed quickly beneath the nostrils one after the other without the source ever being revealed. In between the experience of each smell, the palate and olfactory cilia were somehow thoroughly cleansed, so that no memory of previous odors fatigued or irritated the observer, and instead created the illusion that each new smell existed in a world of its own, was in fact the locus of that world. The smells of pungent tropical fruits, sour vegetables, cut grasses, muds, oils, nectars, strong, noxious lubricants, salted meats and fish, bodily odors, sulphur, weeds, ancient medical books, mold, mildew, chemicals used in printing, embalming and gardening, and so many others were displayed that in listing them all, the author would suffer a terrible case of writer's cramp!

Ahead, a colony of planaria, or flatworms, apply individual sperm cells, which are beige and salty, and larger sperm clumps, which are slightly darker and more gelatinous, to the smooth, highly reflective surface of a mammoth sphere of malachitin. Unable to locate the secret passageway leading to the center of the prized, naturally formed mineral wherein the unfertilized queen-eggcase of their species resides, the planaria are transformed into a tiny, multi-headed molecular dragon while the sperm become the tears wept by those who can't understand. Tenderly pressing its delicate, microscopic facial labia upon the hyaline surface of the now transparent decanter, the molecular dragon blows a soft, sweet, loving kiss while less than an inch away from its lips, within the baby oil-filled glass, a trifurcating spume of red, white, and blue smoke appears, billowing torpidly outwards in the venous, seminal, and arterial bioglyphs of a madman. (Was the connective tissue between dioramas merely implied?)

For some time now, the rough scratching of barnacles and crustaceans has persisted unabated within a vast cave, the limits of which can only be surmised by listening carefully to the delicate echoes of the myriads of life forms that stir within. The darkness, once so thick as to seem palpable, deepens noticeably, taking attention away from the sounds of the endlessly dripping limestone walls and the disconcerting sensations of blasts of alternately hot and frigid air, and what had previously been an enveloping presence is now merely impenetrable. Suddenly, two or three small areas of brightly illuminated fluorescent rock grow in size until the barely noticeable bio-luminescent crustaceans that are responsible for their visibility can be seen faintly in a variety of hues. Squinting thusly, and not entirely accustomed to the change of lighting, subtle movements between adjacent streaks and blotches of color are seen, which soon coalesce into a static, and often meaningful image. Images produced in this manner can take on a number of forms, with windowless domiciles of the mentally ill, dendritic, chlorophyll-based life forms, and gravity-defying, air-breathing mental midgets and cannibals being the most common.

Only moments after finally leaving the cave of pareidolia, a perfectly flat planar expanse is encountered within which four vertical rings of an unknown substance stand facing the exact center of the field, while their opposite sides face the four cardinal horizons of transfinite time and space. Within the area defined by the sides of the four circles that face inward, all sound is absorbed and there is total silence. On the threshold of each of the rings, however, a voice is heard which is loudest when the listener positions its body so that its hearing apparatus is as close as possible to the center of the ring. Once situated, the first of the voices begins to solemnly intone a painfully slow and nearly inaudible speech, which primarily imparts a strong feeling of sluggishness and torpor to the listener. The second voice is, on the other hand, quite animated, and can barely contain itself. Moving on to the next circle, a voice of tremendous irritation is heard, which quickly becomes one of wrath. Finally, the fourth voice begins to speak, its choice of words and the tone of its voice utterly at odds with one another.

Nearly opaque clouds, produced by the boiling of marrow in large crucibles, obscure to some extent the imposing phylogenetic tree a short distance away, which appears to be inchoate and for the most part, two-dimensional. Arranged in small groups or "families" throughout the many long, tortuous branches of the tree are a collection of "wallnuts" which contain, depending on the observer's point of view, either a tiny, hopelessly insane person, or that person's brain, throbbing in perfect unison with all of the other tiny brains displayed nearby. In a matter of moments, an impromptu chorus of frail, high-pitched voices begin to vie for attention from within their hard, wrinkled shells and the tree commences to glow a deep, glossy and unwholesome black, while the nuts subtly grow and shrink in size, modulated by the cadences of their masters' voices. Shortly thereafter, individual voices assert themselves, and before long it is clear that a diorama such as this can only represent the many varieties of anomalous nervous organs that exist in nature, suggesting that those seeking a consensus may find a solid, unwavering wall of disappointment and misunderstanding in its stead. Or is it that our universe-sized models of this occult reticulum of cells continue to be woefully inaccurate? Hearing this, the phylogenetic tree usurps the plane of middle ground that it had occupied and disappears into the ancient, aubergine velvet wall that it had been carefully glued to sometime in the long forgotten past, leaving no point of reference for the wallnuts, which, after being relieved of a single lateral, non-fricative phoneme, fall percussively to the ground, where they are immediately eaten by invisible scavengers.

It wasn't, isn't, and more than likely (that is, if the "cards" aren't upside down, backwards, or misprinted) won't be a tragedy. When it comes to architexture, however, where the sense of touch is, out of necessity, heightened at the expense of nearly all the others, cognitive difficulties have been known to occur. In a classroom of dilating pupils, for example, through which one walks barefoot on a living floor of glans, to what extent will the uninitiated experience their own, subjective braillucinations as real? Furthermore, will the highly specialized attributes of echolocation and teleosmia aid the searcher in discerning the silent presence of the Brain Elevator, the four routinely scheduled stops contained within its life-size, vertically-aligned cardboard cut-out body being the nervous system (located in the head), the circulatory and respiratory systems (located in the chest), the digestive system (located in the stomach), and the reproductive and eliminative systems (located at the bottom of the torso), without the benefit of known landmarks?

What lies ahead is not nauseating in the usual sense, for yesterday's burned and mangled corpse will undoubtedly be the day after tomorrow's white-tie, $1000-a-plate, paparazzi-attended celebrity luncheon, so let's not forget the balloons and individualized place settings. In actual fact, though—when the gargantuan bowel movements of nearsighted whales wash up on the beaches of luxury resorts across the planet, will the vast network of highly detailed, interconnected bionic circuitry within betray the recent departure of a tiny, unborn mouse embryo, its minute and fragile heart beating visibly inside its semitransparent yolk?

Oblivious to the supernal compusion on all sides and throughout every inhabited continent on the surface of the planet, the sessile scientists will stare forever into the meaningless vortex that beckons them from the other side of the Lens, while an anoral nutritive schemata that processes wastes for the purpose of maintaining the life functions adds vitamins and minerals to the perpetually reabsorbed "baby food," which will take many hours to pass through and out of the body via a plastic tube, through the machines and back through a small hole drilled in the bottom of the esophagus. At the same time, dozens of hovering and autonomous maintenance robots will diligently clean the motionless bodies with naturally occurring deep-sea sponges so as to avoid the bedsores that inevitably thrive in this milieu.

© James Goode