Think It Over

Think It Over

I’ve finished the first draft of a piece, and my plan is to put it away for a little while, then come back to it with fresh ears. But how little a while should I wait?

Written By

Colin Holter

So I’ve finished the first draft of a piece I’ve been working on for months. My plan is to put it away for a little while, then come back to it with fresh ears and see what changes should be made. But how little a while should I wait?

It’s become clear to me that for the past couple of years I’ve been spitting out pieces with less self-reflection than I should have been exercising. The results, accordingly, have been a bit patchy—some decent moments, sure, but a lot of distorted proportions, a lot of decisions made with expediency (or, worse, uncritical ideology) in mind. I’ve been trying to break out of these bad habits with this new piece, and I think so far I’ve resisted the urges that have plagued me in the past. Nevertheless, part of me still wants to finish the piece before I start to notice its problems. What if I look at the score again in a month and I can’t stand it? I might have to sink another six months into it. Then again, since the piece’s prospects for performance are hazy as it is, why not keep polishing until its luster is genuinely satisfactory?

Because I have other music I want to write, is why. And my worry about editing the current piece has a parallel when it comes to pieces I haven’t written yet: What if, when the time finally comes to work on them, I don’t even want to anymore? Maybe the ideas that seem so tantalizing now will strike me as bland and uninspired when I sit down to realize them. This has happened before, and I chose to go ahead anyway—big mistake! I’ve been devoting “thought time” to a number of future projects for years now; is it possible that all that pondering will turn out to be wasted?! This is a legitimately horrifying possibility.

Tune in again next week for another installment of Journey to the Center of a Composer’s Neurosis.