The Friday Informer: Which Side Are You On?

It may be hard to believe, but American composers aren’t getting much traction on the other side of the pond these days. Yeah, well, your orchestra sounds like a bunch of amateur hacks! Oh, you don’t say? Before you question British taste, consider that Gelb auditioned Andrea Bocelli at the Met this week. Would I have loved to see the look on Levine’s face.

Still, there’s good news on our nation’s music streets. Big, shiny classical music record stores—real ones!—are basking in our golden sunlight. And lock up your (French horn playing) daughters—Dudamel is in America. (Not everyone is dancing in the aisles.)

News on the wire is that the best way to promote your music may be to tangle with the local constabulary. So for the good of your career, fold up your guitar and go get arrested this weekend. Or write about someone who has.

If you are just too proper an artist to commit a felony, maybe reading Bernard Holland will help you get your mind right. In all fairness, reviewing new music is hard—especially when you’re not actually listening to it.

Another route to contemporary fame and fortune might be classical music reality TV, though I hear that’s not faring so well. And if it is, maybe it shouldn’t be.

If prison or the MSM doesn’t work out for you, there’s always internet celebrity. You can be knowledgeable about complex subjects and adorably illustrated at the same time! Yes, the internet is great. At least till it ruins your career.