- So, have you heard the one about the piccolo player who walked into the boxing gym?
- Songwriting 101 with David Bowie.
- No, he said Mozart makes for great conversation, not demands abject prostration. Clearly, these orchestra musicians misread the memo.
- Clarice Assad, 28, successful young American composer. But first, it’s very important that you know, and so I’m going to lead with this—she’s also “slim, elegant…as if she just walked off a Lower East Side fashion shoot”. But do you think he means, like, Vanessa Mae hot, or just cute?
- What defines complexity most?
- Sex, cocaine, bourbon: Despite what Rolling Stone has been telling you, this is not where composers have any business looking for great musical inspiration.
- Next thing you know, they’ll let them orchestrate our operas.
- Homemade instruments sell out, go mainstream, get signed to a major label. (Personal aside: It’s this man‘s fault we hate this song.)
- Kiss your mother with that mouth? Eight sentences we hereby ban, as suggested. (Also, if you can’t get your congressman to do it, send a 12-year-old kid.)